Goal Setting & Focus
My oh my, how far we have come since the words ‘one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind’ were broadcast around the world on the occasion of the first landing on the moon!
Indeed, given the somewhat parlous state of the world across a broad range of issues, one wonders whether in fact we have made any progress at all since those glorious times.
We are now very good at war, we all know how to spend more than we earn [ ask any politician from any 'developed' country], and diseases that were once thought under control are now manifesting all over again.
Our so called egalitarian society is less so today than a couple of decades ago. Real poverty exists in noticeable numbers.
All of this ‘rant’ is relevant to our own individual world view. Whilst these conditions are reality, we, as success oriented people do not have to buy into any kind of hoplessness or helplessness any time soon – unless of course we want to!
Hence my reference to ‘one small step’.
In order to move away from any unwanted state and toward something more desirable, firstly you must evaluate where you are at right now and what is you do want that either is not present in your life right now or that you want to improve things for the better.
Too often that which you desire is looked upon as unrealistic or that you really can’t be bothered and so the status quo remains. Here at Life Coach Auckland we might ask, ‘well, do you want it or not?’ And if you haven’t got it – ‘why not’. The answers to these questions can be very enlightening.
If this ‘thing’ is in fact something you do want, then I suggest you employ the principle of ‘one small step’. It’s fascinating how much closer you can get to your desired outcome with just a few steps, and then a few more.
Confuscious is oft quoted thus: ‘A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.’
Often the help of someone like a life coach can help you get the clarity you need to at least create a plan of action, and then you are on your way.
Why not contact us and let’s get you started? Today!
A Winner’s Guide
Who or what is a winner?
Someone who is victorious as a result of a contest, a race, or some other effort.
Another definition: Someone who overcomes obstacles.
Often the difference between winning and coming second [losing] is easy to measure.
Notice a top tennis player such as Nadal immediately after he has won a final, say against Federer.
Notice his demeanour and body language if he has just lost to the same opponent.
The difference is huge. You can almost feel the emotion coming right through the TV screen!
What really makes a winner however is his or her attitude. Both of these super sports people are brilliant role models for the simple reason that coming second is not the end. In fact it is a catalyst, an additional incentive to reverse the result at the very next tournament.
You will see this in all top sport.
We don’t often see it in everyday life, or experience it for that matter.
Why not? I hear you ask.
Most of us settle for a somewhat mediocre life.
Sure we’ll set a few goals, start a new regime, and then just as easily as we started, we slip back to where we were.
What would living a ‘top life’ be like? Have you thought about it? Have you – seriously?
Too often at Life Coach Auckland readers of our articles fill in the form on our homepage and for some strange reason fail to follow through with even the free interview.
I guess these folks aren’t really interested in living a ‘top life’ maybe it’s too hard to even contemplate it.
Top sports people have coaches – that’s why they are at the top!
Why not consider a coach for you – get some traction, take action and make 2011 your best year ever!
There are only two ways: make more or desire less
The western way of thinking tends to measure success in a highly material sense. From a young age we are conditioned to compete and as we journey through life we tend to develop an insatiable appetite for more.
Whether it is a promotion at work, social status, or just a want of the finer things of life, most people feel the only way they can achieve their goal is to work harder and try to earn more money.
A quick reality check shows that this approach causes problems with stress, family break-ups, health, etc. And these problems often come at a cost equal to or greater than the benefits gained from the effort and struggle.
Is there another way? The answer is “Yes”, what’s more it’s simple and puts you back in the drivers seat.
It involves stepping back and really thinking about what you want and why you want it. Learn to become very objective and analyses your motivations for the things you want. The ability to discern between needs and wants becomes a very powerful ally in a world that encourages ‘more is better’.
This approach helps to recognize what’s OK about your current circumstances. Rather than feeling like you need to change numerous elements in your environment, you will be able to condense issues down to the one or two stand out things that if changed can make a big difference.
By crossing non-essential items off the list and taking stock of what you have already, you’ll start to discover a hidden wealth of time, peace and money.
This is the approach we use at Life Coach Auckland. It saves endless sessions spent chasing unnecessary wants and allows you to focus on the things you need to create a great life.
Wishing you wealth, peace and happiness – Vaughan
Life Coach Auckland
If you are back from Christmas holidays, this message will be useful for you. It deals with habits, life coaching concepts and setting goals for the New Year.
A big part of being human is having habits. Some habits are useful and constructive, we call them ‘good’ habits; others are self-limiting, even irritating, we tend to label them ‘bad’ habits. A life coach takes great interest in observing people’s habits, as they can help us understand what drives a person.
How do you break an old habit? As a rule of thumb, it takes 30 days of repetition to break an old habit, or to create a new one. That alone can be a challenge… managing 30 consecutive days of refraining from something that has become quite routine, or even more challenging – 30 consecutive days of doing something that is new to us.
The act of repetition would be the easy bit if that’s all it took, yet time and again when we set out to create or break habits, there seems to be an emergence of the saboteur in us that does anything possible to maintain the status-quo.
Let’s examine why this is, and then look at what it takes to improve our chances of breaking old ‘bad’ habits and creating new ‘good’ ones.
Firstly what is a habit?
A habit is an act that has been wilfully repeated so often that is has become automatic. It is a deeply ingrained condition we have established in our subconscious mind through our repeated conscious promptings to ourselves.
This repeated act becomes an established pattern, and is usually hard to break because even when we become aware of it and decide we want to do something about it, we may have wilfully programmed our subconscious mind into such an automated state that it is now independently looking ahead to comply with our wishes.
No wonder there is a long history of New Year resolutions not being very resolute!
Life Coaching Tips on Habits
If we want to improve our chances of breaking old habits, one effective method is to establish a counter-habit to overcome the first one. To do this effectively there are some things you will need to consider:
- Is the new habit practical?
- What are all the pros and cons involved? What will happen if you keep allowing the old habit to continue?
- Is it something that will be useful for you, does it hold meaning for you? (HINT: the more constructive, meaningful and beneficial it is to you, the easier it will stick).
Once you have ticked those boxes, it is important to engage your WILL by making a firm and final decision to see this through. A new habit will only be formed once you have consciously submitted your reasoning as a final decision to the subconscious mind.
Most of the stories of so called ‘overnight success’ you hear about ignore the trail of unsuccessful attempts prior to this firm and final decision. So make sure your counter-habit is in line with your values.
Finally, if you’re still battling with your saboteur, you might want to consider life coaching with us. At Life Coach Auckland, we’re good at identifying patterns and short-cutting your journey in developing new habits.
Contact us today for a Free Interview.
Vaughan Jones
Life Coach Auckland
No doubt you are familiar with the Confucian saying: “a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step”.
I guess Confucius was a Life Coach in the sense that he had the ability to impart his wisdom in ways that actually caused those receiving his message to ponder deeply before taking action.
As coaches we encourage our clients to ‘think big’. To go outside the square, dare to dream a little and ask ‘what do you [really] want? There’s a bit more to it than this simple explanation, but for the purposes of this story I want to keep things simple. A concept if you like.
Many of you do have big dreams. Many of you start out with the intention of realising that dream. Only to let things slip. You lose momentum, maybe what you thought you wanted was in fact something that was not really that important after all.
Fast forward a few years [amazing how quickly time passes isn’t it?], and you say to your self ‘If only……….’
The coaching process takes away the ‘if only’s’ in your life. Coaching ensures that you get clear – really clear – as to what you it is you want and why.
Coaching helps you establish an action plan, a series of small steps that cumulatively get you to that destination. The place where the big dream is. By having your coach keep you on track, whether the going is rough or smooth, consistent patient action will get you there.
You will learn stuff about yourself along the way as well.
That’s why investing in coaching for you is great value. Here at Life Coach Auckland we are passionate about delivering great value to you.
We are close to the end of the year. What better Christmas present could you give yourself?
The gift that unlocks your true potential.
Life Coaching & Habits
This is a one step system. It is easy to do, but it might not be easy to implement consistently.
Here’s what you need to do:
As an Auckland based life coach, we teach people the habit of writing down exactly what you intend to do.
This action step should be personal [involving you], practical;- something you can do., and provable;- with a deadline to it.
This simple concept is the essence of goal setting and the genesis of creating a great life for you.
It is pretty much as Rick Warren wrote it in The Purpose Driven Life.
Now, the easy part is writing your intention down. Where most people become unstuck is their intention is not congruent with their own values or where they really want to go.
So another question might be ‘What’s important to me’ and from the answer to this question write down your intention.
Like all goals, there will be action steps to take that get you on the path to realising that goal or intention.
Here’s another idea for you – think small.
Think in terms of taking small action steps that lead you toward your [larger] goal. Or decide to set a goal that is easily achievable and begin to experience the belief that yes, you too can realise success.
Just remember the simple process outlined above and make a start.
Here at Life Coach Auckland we are dedicated to your success and are here to help you get started on your own personal journey.
Phil Linklater
Life Coach Auckland
Auckland Life Coach Help
It seems there’s some real energy around the topic of realising your dreams through unleashing your own inner power to get things done.
The things that are important to you.
Those things that drive you toward your goals because your goals are important to you.
Seth Godin has a certain way with few words that help illustrate what I am endeavouring to get across to you. At Life Coach Auckland, this concept of inner power is what we help our clients to gain.
The same message that I illustrated in my last post.
Read what Seth has to say here
Life Coach Auckland | What is the Secret?
In these days of rapid change and our ‘want it now’ mentality you consciously look for the magic bullet, the fast easy way to get what you want.
Remember the story about the gym owner trying to figure out ways to keep his clients on track?
Or maybe you have followed the teachings from the Secret, you know, The Law of Attraction, and yet you find that you somehow haven’t got what you want.
You do the affirmations, create the vision board, and even meditate on the outcomes you desire.
Nothing seems to work.
Could an Auckland Life Coach help?
Maybe.
Last night on television two different programmes delivered what I think is a key if not the key to ‘The Secret” to success.
The first story was about a truck driver who was made redundant from his job.
He then decided he wanted to be a doctor!
Wow! Now that’s a big shift from where he was to where he wanted to go.
His application for medical school was rejected.
Undeterred he enrolled at a technical college and gained a diploma in science. He then reapplied to medical school, was readmitted, and, you guessed it is now a qualified medical doctor.
It ‘only’ took him 12 years!
In the other story a Dutch immigrant took on some overgrown swampy ground no one else wanted.
With sheer hard work and determination he knocked the land into shape.
He now has a business as this country’s largest organic blueberry producer.
Not only does his farm support he and his wife, but the families of his two children as well as providing seasonal work for a local migrant community.
And, he is hard at work on his farm every day – not because he has to, but because he is doing what he loves.
What’s their ‘secret’?
Was it passion? Was it a vision? Maybe it was both. What did they have in common?
Stick ability.
They both made a decision and set about achieving their dream. And they stuck at it until they succeeded.
The challenge we all face is to find something we can get ‘stuck into’ that we are passionate about and do whatever it takes to get there.
Looking back, I bet that new doctor does not think that 12 years was such a long time!
Can a life coach help?
Yes!
He or she will keep you on track; ask the hard questions keep you motivated when it all gets too hard.
Make that call today. Fill in the form. Let’s get going.
Auckland Life Coach | The Problem with Going to the Gym
Vaughan and I were talking to a gym owner in Auckland this week. He is wondering whether the services of a Life Coach would be a useful value add for his business and naturally his membership.
Like many similar businesses, a new member signs up, attends the gym regularly, initially makes good progress toward their goal of say weight loss, perhaps getting more muscle tone or just increasing levels of fitness, and then their regular attendance falls away, weight lost is regained, fitness decreases.
This is not an uncommon occurrence.
I know, I have done the same.
Joined the gym, had a programme designed for me, done the workouts, got fit. And then dropped out.
Or, after reviewing my progress, my programme has been changed to reflect my improved fitness and strength levels, followed this new regime for a while only to let my commitment slide once again.
- Why does this happen?
- Is it because of the routine of doing the work?
- What happened to that original intention to ‘do something about….’ my weight, my pot belly, my cravings for the wrong foods, and so on???
- Where has my commitment, my motivation gone?
I mean, there’s a personal trainer that helps me, a nutritionist if I want ideas on diet, there’s usually big TV screens, [showing sports or some form of healthy activity], great music, and always members who are really really into the whole fitness, self improvement thing and just going hard out.
- Why not me all of sudden?
- Why did I bother joining in the first place?
- It might have something to do with alignment with my values [what's important].
- Here at Life Coach Auckland we ensure that you get clear as to why you want to do something, is this desire congruent with say a much bigger picture?
- As Stephen Covey says ‘begin with the end in mind’.
- What are the short term and long term benefits?
- Who else in your life will or will not benefit from you reaching your goals?
- Are they [your goals], what you really want? Truly?
You see it’s easy to charge full steam ahead without a plan, or a sense of direction for your life.
So, why not create a workable and sustainable plan, that will fit in with you and your current circumstances, your social or family life.
Minimise or at least acknowledge where the conflicts might arise and then go to work.
At Life Coach Auckland it’s all about making meaningful lasting changes, and achieving better health and fitness is a great place to start
Without robust good health any success in other areas of your life will be compromised.
High energy, a good attitude and stamina will get you places faster and for longer, than without it.
Phil Linklater
Life Coach Auckland
Auckland Life Coach | Do I really need a Life Coach?
Here are some thoughts from us here at Life Coach Auckland:
You thought you were normal, leading a conventional life with normal healthy ambitions and striving to piece it all together in a way that allowed you to accomplish your goals.
Perhaps on the surface it would appear that all the effort and hard work is paying dividends. You live in a nice house, the kids are doing OK at school, your career is on track and your new position provides you with the esteem of your colleagues, family and friends… not to mention a nice boost to the household income.
Or perhaps your not quite there yet, but you can see it all panning out in the long run.
Something’s not quite right though. Beneath it all you find yourself becoming increasingly distracted by a growing sense of dissatisfaction… of lack… of “something missing”. But what is it? It’s nothing material and definite, and you have trouble talking to your partner about this “something missing” because it’s so vague and elusive.
Perhaps you’ve been feeling this way for a while now and it’s got to the stage where ordinary life feels empty. Things that previously absorbed your attention and interest seem to have lost importance and value.
And unlike the scenario above where things at least appear good on the surface, this emptiness may have created feelings of doubt and low confidence and only served to keep you in a job that’s dissatisfying. Or perhaps it’s preventing you from re-entering the workforce even though the kids are no longer dependant on you and you would dearly love to be working again.
Are you having a midlife crises? Maybe, what does one look like? For now let’s just say that a mid-life crisis is often an attempt to meet this sense of dissatisfaction. People often try to fill the void with external change, such as finding a new job, a new sporty car or bike, a new partner, a new image, a new place to live, or reverting back to habits and behaviour of the good old days when life seemed lighter and more fun.
Change is part of the answer, only not so much external change as internal change. The “something missing” may be a tap on the shoulder from your better self wanting to be expressed.
Abraham Maslow pointed out; “we have, all of us, an impulse to improve ourselves, an impulse towards actualizing more of our potentialities, towards self-actualisation, or full humanness, or human fulfillment…”
It is a natural transition period. You could call it the transition from job to vocation. In early adult life the roles provided by a new career or parenthood were able to meet many of our needs. A sense of achievement, development of new skills, growth, independence, social esteem, etc could all be found within the framework of these new roles.
You also found out a lot about what you didn’t like, and while developing in your career you very likely had to adapt your natural way of being to fit into certain roles.
Some years down the track, typically between the ages of 35 and 45 although it can happen both sooner or later, you may have subconsciously begun to question your sense of purpose. That’s when that sense of “something missing” started to gnaw at you.
In our work with people we see this a lot. A person may have an enviable job with good pay and all the material trimmings to show for it, but what’s missing is a vehicle that allows expression of much greater potentials.
These impulses can’t be satisfied by simply working harder or accumulating more. Expansion of business doesn’t necessarily lead to expansion of the soul.
How can this be achieved? Let me assure you it’s not something that can be accomplished during a one day ‘Change Your Life’ type seminar, although this may help raise some awareness.
The transition involves a gradual integration of the many aspects of an individual. One of the first steps to take is identifying yourself as being more than your job, your profession, your role, or your title. These are what you do, not what you are.
In a previous post titled “Who’s In Charge of Your Life” we mentioned the dangers of over-identifying with only one aspect of your self.
This transition phase calls for a person to look deep inside, to tap into latent potentials and bring them to fruition in a way that says “This is who I am and this is what I am here for!”
Carl Jung gave us some clues about discovering our hidden potentials in his exploration of man’s unconscious drivers. What are the hidden inner drivers that truly motivate you? What are the internal obstacles that limit you?
Are you up to exploring the drivers that truly motivate you? Our Competence Analysis & Development Assessment program provides you with clear insights into your core competencies and untapped development potentials.
If you’re ready to answer the “something’s missing” riddle and step into your greater potential, it would be our privilege to guide you. Curious? Contact us to find out more.
To contact Life Coach Auckland, click below for a free, no obligation interview.
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“Our potential is realized by optimizing our own individuality and uniqueness – never by molding them into another’s opinion of what we should do, or what we are capable of”.
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Auckland Life Coach | Who is In Charge of Your LIfe
