Personal Growth & Success
My oh my, how far we have come since the words ‘one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind’ were broadcast around the world on the occasion of the first landing on the moon!
Indeed, given the somewhat parlous state of the world across a broad range of issues, one wonders whether in fact we have made any progress at all since those glorious times.
We are now very good at war, we all know how to spend more than we earn [ ask any politician from any 'developed' country], and diseases that were once thought under control are now manifesting all over again.
Our so called egalitarian society is less so today than a couple of decades ago. Real poverty exists in noticeable numbers.
All of this ‘rant’ is relevant to our own individual world view. Whilst these conditions are reality, we, as success oriented people do not have to buy into any kind of hoplessness or helplessness any time soon – unless of course we want to!
Hence my reference to ‘one small step’.
In order to move away from any unwanted state and toward something more desirable, firstly you must evaluate where you are at right now and what is you do want that either is not present in your life right now or that you want to improve things for the better.
Too often that which you desire is looked upon as unrealistic or that you really can’t be bothered and so the status quo remains. Here at Life Coach Auckland we might ask, ‘well, do you want it or not?’ And if you haven’t got it – ‘why not’. The answers to these questions can be very enlightening.
If this ‘thing’ is in fact something you do want, then I suggest you employ the principle of ‘one small step’. It’s fascinating how much closer you can get to your desired outcome with just a few steps, and then a few more.
Confuscious is oft quoted thus: ‘A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.’
Often the help of someone like a life coach can help you get the clarity you need to at least create a plan of action, and then you are on your way.
Why not contact us and let’s get you started? Today!
Last night we witnessed the culmination of an epic battle as the New Zealand All Blacks defeated the Tri Colours from France in the final of the rugby world cup.
It has been 24 years since the All Blacks won the inaugural tournament at Eden Park in Auckland.
It is regarded as New Zealand’s national game.
For such a small country New Zealand [N.Z.] regularly punches above its weight in all sorts of sporting disciplines.
We have won the America’s Cup, the Volvo round the world race, the rowing world championships and so it goes on and on.
For this world cup, we were able to forget about the trials and tribulations that the country has experienced this year, from the destructive earthquake that has killed so many people and destroyed the CBD in Christchurch our third biggest city, to the drama surrounding the grounding of Rena on a reef just off some of the best coastline in the world with subsequent environmental devastation from oil leaking from the vessel.
The success of the All Blacks was celebrated with a parade up Auckland’s Queen Street just an hour ago, where in excess of 250,000 citizens turned out to share the joy, the love and to say thank you to an inspiring team.
France were not easy beats, the result was in doubt right to the end when the final score was 8 points to 7!
One point between failure and success.
Life is much the same, there is such a fine line between failure and success. Often it has been defined as someone making that one extra phone call, or that one extra pitch for business or that one more job interview.
It is the difference that persistence makes.
It is having the determination to do what it takes to never give up.
It is having or developing the belief that yes, you too can succeed.
Like successful sports teams, most successful people have a life coach or a mentor that helps them build the belief and determination and persistence, which are the attributes of all successful people.
Consistent effort applied regularly and relentlessly is the key.
“I don’t feel like doing [whatever you need to do] today will not get you there.
Often when you are at your lowest point, when giving it all away is so inviting is precisely the time that you must dig deep.
That’s what we do at Life Coach Auckland; we help you move away from failure.
We get you over the line and moving toward success.
I invite you to take that first step toward becoming the success that is yours by right.
You can get me and the support you need; just fill in the free interview form on our website.
Your coach
Phil
A Winner’s Guide
Who or what is a winner?
Someone who is victorious as a result of a contest, a race, or some other effort.
Another definition: Someone who overcomes obstacles.
Often the difference between winning and coming second [losing] is easy to measure.
Notice a top tennis player such as Nadal immediately after he has won a final, say against Federer.
Notice his demeanour and body language if he has just lost to the same opponent.
The difference is huge. You can almost feel the emotion coming right through the TV screen!
What really makes a winner however is his or her attitude. Both of these super sports people are brilliant role models for the simple reason that coming second is not the end. In fact it is a catalyst, an additional incentive to reverse the result at the very next tournament.
You will see this in all top sport.
We don’t often see it in everyday life, or experience it for that matter.
Why not? I hear you ask.
Most of us settle for a somewhat mediocre life.
Sure we’ll set a few goals, start a new regime, and then just as easily as we started, we slip back to where we were.
What would living a ‘top life’ be like? Have you thought about it? Have you – seriously?
Too often at Life Coach Auckland readers of our articles fill in the form on our homepage and for some strange reason fail to follow through with even the free interview.
I guess these folks aren’t really interested in living a ‘top life’ maybe it’s too hard to even contemplate it.
Top sports people have coaches – that’s why they are at the top!
Why not consider a coach for you – get some traction, take action and make 2011 your best year ever!
There are only two ways: make more or desire less
The western way of thinking tends to measure success in a highly material sense. From a young age we are conditioned to compete and as we journey through life we tend to develop an insatiable appetite for more.
Whether it is a promotion at work, social status, or just a want of the finer things of life, most people feel the only way they can achieve their goal is to work harder and try to earn more money.
A quick reality check shows that this approach causes problems with stress, family break-ups, health, etc. And these problems often come at a cost equal to or greater than the benefits gained from the effort and struggle.
Is there another way? The answer is “Yes”, what’s more it’s simple and puts you back in the drivers seat.
It involves stepping back and really thinking about what you want and why you want it. Learn to become very objective and analyses your motivations for the things you want. The ability to discern between needs and wants becomes a very powerful ally in a world that encourages ‘more is better’.
This approach helps to recognize what’s OK about your current circumstances. Rather than feeling like you need to change numerous elements in your environment, you will be able to condense issues down to the one or two stand out things that if changed can make a big difference.
By crossing non-essential items off the list and taking stock of what you have already, you’ll start to discover a hidden wealth of time, peace and money.
This is the approach we use at Life Coach Auckland. It saves endless sessions spent chasing unnecessary wants and allows you to focus on the things you need to create a great life.
Wishing you wealth, peace and happiness – Vaughan
Life Coach Auckland
If you are back from Christmas holidays, this message will be useful for you. It deals with habits, life coaching concepts and setting goals for the New Year.
A big part of being human is having habits. Some habits are useful and constructive, we call them ‘good’ habits; others are self-limiting, even irritating, we tend to label them ‘bad’ habits. A life coach takes great interest in observing people’s habits, as they can help us understand what drives a person.
How do you break an old habit? As a rule of thumb, it takes 30 days of repetition to break an old habit, or to create a new one. That alone can be a challenge… managing 30 consecutive days of refraining from something that has become quite routine, or even more challenging – 30 consecutive days of doing something that is new to us.
The act of repetition would be the easy bit if that’s all it took, yet time and again when we set out to create or break habits, there seems to be an emergence of the saboteur in us that does anything possible to maintain the status-quo.
Let’s examine why this is, and then look at what it takes to improve our chances of breaking old ‘bad’ habits and creating new ‘good’ ones.
Firstly what is a habit?
A habit is an act that has been wilfully repeated so often that is has become automatic. It is a deeply ingrained condition we have established in our subconscious mind through our repeated conscious promptings to ourselves.
This repeated act becomes an established pattern, and is usually hard to break because even when we become aware of it and decide we want to do something about it, we may have wilfully programmed our subconscious mind into such an automated state that it is now independently looking ahead to comply with our wishes.
No wonder there is a long history of New Year resolutions not being very resolute!
Life Coaching Tips on Habits
If we want to improve our chances of breaking old habits, one effective method is to establish a counter-habit to overcome the first one. To do this effectively there are some things you will need to consider:
- Is the new habit practical?
- What are all the pros and cons involved? What will happen if you keep allowing the old habit to continue?
- Is it something that will be useful for you, does it hold meaning for you? (HINT: the more constructive, meaningful and beneficial it is to you, the easier it will stick).
Once you have ticked those boxes, it is important to engage your WILL by making a firm and final decision to see this through. A new habit will only be formed once you have consciously submitted your reasoning as a final decision to the subconscious mind.
Most of the stories of so called ‘overnight success’ you hear about ignore the trail of unsuccessful attempts prior to this firm and final decision. So make sure your counter-habit is in line with your values.
Finally, if you’re still battling with your saboteur, you might want to consider life coaching with us. At Life Coach Auckland, we’re good at identifying patterns and short-cutting your journey in developing new habits.
Contact us today for a Free Interview.
Vaughan Jones
Life Coach Auckland
No doubt you are familiar with the Confucian saying: “a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step”.
I guess Confucius was a Life Coach in the sense that he had the ability to impart his wisdom in ways that actually caused those receiving his message to ponder deeply before taking action.
As coaches we encourage our clients to ‘think big’. To go outside the square, dare to dream a little and ask ‘what do you [really] want? There’s a bit more to it than this simple explanation, but for the purposes of this story I want to keep things simple. A concept if you like.
Many of you do have big dreams. Many of you start out with the intention of realising that dream. Only to let things slip. You lose momentum, maybe what you thought you wanted was in fact something that was not really that important after all.
Fast forward a few years [amazing how quickly time passes isn’t it?], and you say to your self ‘If only……….’
The coaching process takes away the ‘if only’s’ in your life. Coaching ensures that you get clear – really clear – as to what you it is you want and why.
Coaching helps you establish an action plan, a series of small steps that cumulatively get you to that destination. The place where the big dream is. By having your coach keep you on track, whether the going is rough or smooth, consistent patient action will get you there.
You will learn stuff about yourself along the way as well.
That’s why investing in coaching for you is great value. Here at Life Coach Auckland we are passionate about delivering great value to you.
We are close to the end of the year. What better Christmas present could you give yourself?
The gift that unlocks your true potential.
Life Coaching & Habits
After years of searching, the wanderer was told to go to a cave, in which he would find a well. He was advised “Ask the well what is Truth, and the well will reveal it to you”.
Having found the well, the wanderer asked that most fundamental question. And from the depths came the answer, “Go to the village crossroad: there you shall find what you are seeking.”
Full of hope and anticipation, the man ran to the crossroad, only to find three rather ordinary shops. One shop was selling pieces of metal, another sold wood, and the third sold thin wires. He decided that nothing and nobody there seemed to have much to do with the revelation of Truth.
Disappointed he returned to the well and demanded an explanation, only to be told “You will understand in the future.” When he protested all he got in return were the echoes of his own shouting. Indignant about having been made a fool of – or so he thought at the time – he continued his wanderings in search of the Truth.
As years went by, the memory of his experience at the well gradually faded until one night, while he was walking in the moonlight, the sound of sitar music caught his attention. It was a wonderful music, and it was played with great mastery and inspiration.
Profoundly moved, the truth-seeker felt drawn toward the player. He looked at the fingers dancing over the strings, and became aware of the sitar itself. Suddenly he burst into a cry of joyous recognition: the sitar was made out of wires and pieces of metal and wood just like those he had once seen in the three shops he had thought to be of no particular significance.
At last he understood the message of the well!
The Life Coach Lesson
We have already been given everything we need; our task is to assemble and use it in the appropriate way. Nothing is meaningful as long as we perceive only separate fragments.
But as soon as the fragments come together into a synthesis, a new entity emerges, whose nature we could not have foreseen by considering the fragments alone.
This process of synthesis can be seen everywhere in nature and in the human world. Cells assemble to form an organism, letters join to form a word, musical notes combine to form a melody, etc.
The Italian psychiatrist Roberto Assagioli, founder of Psychosynthesis, showed that synthesis can also take place in the psychology of human beings, and that conversely a great deal of pain, imbalance and meaninglessness are felt when our diverse inner elements are unconnected or clash with one another.
He also noticed that when they merge in into greater cohesiveness, we experience a release of energy, a sense of well-being, and a greater depth of meaning in our lives. A process he said tends to occur naturally in all people, only it often gets blocked.
At Life Coach Auckland our inclusive approach draws on principles and techniques from Psychosynthsis, analytical coaching, and NLP to bring about a gradual change.
This approach is more than a superficial form of self-improvement that promises the same old thing: (better concentration, more relaxation, greater success, etc).
As we work on the challenges you bring to the table, the work of synthesis gradually evokes changes in underlying patterns. As this process gestates in the background, internal obstacles are broken down, making the job of overcoming our external obstacles (what we think is getting in the way) much easier.
Relationships tend to improve and life takes on a whole new dimension and sense of satisfaction.
If you live in our near Auckland and you are curious about how life coaching could help you move through life and work in a more cohesive way, contact us for a FREE interview.
No cost, no strings attached; only new possibilities.
When you’re ready, I look forward to meeting you.
Take care,
Vaughan Jones, Life Coach Auckland
Life Coach Lesson
How often does it happen? You’re at a family BBQ in Auckland or other place, a seminar, or some other social gathering and someone asks “What do you do?”
Most times your standard reply will relate to your predominant role; I’m a mother, I’m a student, I’m a nurse, I’m a manager, etc.
This is a common way to break the ice with someone and find out a bit more about each other, and for some people it’s a marvelous opportunity to express their enthusiasm about their job, their position, the company, or their business.
Yet for other people it’s a question they would prefer not to have to answer.
For some people the last thing they want is to discuss their job. They might not have one, and that’s not uncommon in today’s current environment. They might have a job that brings them more pain and anguish than they care to mention.
And just as often in my travels in Auckland as a life coach, I’ll meet people who have a job that would seem to be highly enviable, yet they prefer not to discuss their role either. This isn’t a matter of national security or modesty, I’m talking about people with seemingly great positions that are well remunerated and still feeling like work is a part of life they could do without.
What’s the common theme here? Why is it that some people with a ‘dream role’ are just as despondent about their work as people who are out of work or in a genuine dead-end job?
Life Coach & True Potential
More often than not it’s the same feeling; the feeling of not living one’s true potential. Achievement alone can be very empty if the achievements are conforming to outside expectations that come at a cost to your deepest and most authentic self.
William Broyles, Jr., writing in Esquire, wearily described how empty success can be:
“Each morning I struggled into my suit, picked up my briefcase, went to my glamorous job, and died a little. I was the editor in chief of Newsweek, a position that in the eyes of others had everything; only it had nothing to do with me. I took little pleasure in running a large institution. I wanted personal achievement, not power. For me, success was more dangerous than failure; failure would have forced me to decide what I really wanted.
The only way out was to quit, but I hadn’t quit anything since I abandoned the track team in high school. I had also been a Marine in Vietnam, and Marines are trained to keep on charging up the hill, no matter what. But I had got up the hill; I just hated being there. I had climbed the wrong mountain, and the only thing to do was go down and climb another one. It was not easy: my writing went more slowly than I had expected, and my marriage fell apart.
I needed something, but I wasn’t sure what. I knew I wanted to be tested, mentally and physically. I wanted to succeed, but by standards that were clear and concrete, and not dependent on the opinion of others. I wanted the intensity and camaraderie of a dangerous enterprise. In an earlier time, I might have gone west or to sea, but I had two children and a web of responsibilities”.
This man had power and prestige; goals that take the better part of a man’s life to achieve and that relatively few actually succeed in reaching. But all the achievement had little to do with who he really was. The expectations from the outside world weren’t aligned with his own inner patterns (preferences).
Authentic Preferences
Feeling authentic requires being free to develop traits and potentials that are inborn preferences. When we are accepted and allowed to be genuine, it’s possible to have self-esteem and authenticity together.
One way this develops is when we are able to become absorbed in roles that bring us joy. But this can be challenging because from childhood on, first our family, followed by school, our community, and our culture act as reflective lenses through which we view ourselves and what we do as acceptable or not.
When we need to conform in order to be acceptable, we may end up wearing a false, uncomfortable mask and playing an empty role if who we are inside is quite different to what is expected of us.
So “Who are you? And what do you do?”
Deep down is there a conflict between your innate preferences and what you actually do (or what you tell yourself you need to do)?
What if you were able to gain some clear insights as to what your innate preferences were? What opportunities would open up if you got really clear about what could be…?
At Life Coach Auckland when we talk about change we talk about something at a deeper and more sustainable level than superficial lifestyle changes trying to cover up feelings of dissatisfaction.
We show you how to become more aware of your inner preferences, giving you the power to make choices about ‘What you do’ by learning more about ‘Who you are’.
Our unique Inner Leader assessment gives you clear and immediate insights about your innate preferences and potentials, saving hours of unnecessary ‘fishing’ and providing a valuable platform for a meaningful coaching program.
If you want sustainable results backed by an international evidence-based program that works, contact us for a FREE interview. It costs nothing to take the first step.
Vaughan Jones
Life Coach Auckland
There are many reasons why Auckland is New Zealand’s biggest city.
One of those is the lifestyle afforded by its proximity to two harbours, the world famous Hauraki Gulf with its fabulous islands or the incredible west coast beaches and the temperate climate.
If there is a downside, it’s the fact that not everybody in Auckland is able to take full advantage of all of the benefits of living in this great city.
Like being anywhere in the world really, living the great life is not yours by birthright.
You need to work for it.
I don’t necessarily mean work as in ‘job’, but you must have enough money to live the life you want to.
That’s one of the compelling reasons that we created Life Coach Auckland.
Our aim is to help you develop and grow so that you too can live the kind of life that can be so enjoyable in a place like Auckland. [Or any other place for that matter].
So what is missing from your life right now?
How can you get from where you are right now to where you want to be?
Well, that’s our job.
Whether it’s advice on selecting the right career path, to helping you become the best that you can be, we are here to help you get there quicker and in smarter ways.
What would living the life style of your dreams look and feel like to you?
Let’s get together with you right now and start designing your future.
Phil Linklater
Life Coach Auckland
Who Are You?
Are you in Auckland and looking for an Auckland life coach? What should you expect? The real question is what do you really want?
This is a question most people struggle to answer clearly. I can help you because I know some things about you already.
I know that whatever the reason is you’re reading this page, your goals and ambitions are as personal and unique to you as they were for every person I’ve worked with.
Would it be comforting to know that most of those goals are universal to us all?
We all have an inherent yearning for continuous growth. This shows up as wanting better relationships, both personal and professional, wanting to feel more connected, maybe you want more confidence, greater self-esteem
You want to further your career, you want more time, more money, you want less stress, you want a clearer sense of direction, perhaps more meaning and purpose in your life, maybe you want to contribute and somehow make a difference.
What Do You Want From Life & A Life Coach?
You want to feel happy and contented. Don’t feel alone. We all want the same.
If there’s one thing I’ve noticed with all the people I’ve worked with as a coach, everyone’s trying to improve the quality of their lives.
So here you are reading this blog. Does any of this sound like you?
Perhaps it even hurts a little because you actually know what needs to change, you know how things could be better, but you just seem to get stuck in the same old patterns like a dog racing around in circles chasing its own tail.
I want you to be you, the real authentic you that’s sitting deep down inside and waiting to come out. I know that today’s crazy world causes an inner conflict between who you want to be and who you think you should be.
Whenever you get stuck with something, upset with something, the related challenges and obstacles are more about the barriers inside you than the external challenges.
When we realise this, we’re able to embrace challenging experiences as an integral part of our learning. Then we are free to make new choices and create the changes we want for ourselves.
So what can you expect from using a life coach? Expect an expert trained to work in such areas to listen to you without judgement, offering you compassion and understanding.
What to Expect From Life Coach Auckland
Expect new awareness to unfold and to gain fresh insights, and to break through barriers that have been holding you back.
Expect to get clear on what really matters to you and expect to build up the inner resources necessary to become truly confident and fully self-motivating.
Expect someone who trusts in you and your ability to find what is best for you, and expect to do the work necessary to make the changes you desire.
When you use a life coach, expect to find yourself on a most interesting journey towards personal freedom. For a no-risk doscussion about how Life Coach Auckland can help, go ahead and request a free interview.
